Yes, this is how we do it! 6 cups of ice to a small load of delicates which I washed this morning. There is no cool tap water after June. In fact, several children have been scalded when parents turned on the garden hose in the yard without letting it totally drain out. Some days I ask myself why I live here, but like every living being in the desert, we learn to adapt I suppose.

Writing is easy for me, as it is for most authors. I love watching the characters in my head come to life and create a world around me.

I was once told in one of my writing courses that it’s fine to love to write, but if you want to be published, you have to love revision. That’s the hard part. Loving to revise.

To a certain extent I do like to revise. Finding better sentence structure, locating over-used phrases, using a Thesaurus or website to find a much better word than I originally used. All of that is likable, even fun. But when you get back a twelve-page summary from your editor that begins with: cut the first 44 pages, suddenly revision is no longer lovable, not even likable.

The hard revisions that require story structure, eliminating minor characters, developing more scenes with a particular character – none of those are “fun.”

It’s tempting as a writer to simply open a drawer, cram the damn manuscript inside and forget it. It’s tempting to say, the editor is wrong and I love my own words. It’s tempting to set fire to it!

In the past, I’ve stepped back for a period of time and realized how much time, energy, creativity, and work I have put into the book so far. It’s usually enormous. That’s when my stubbornness rises and I get out my red pencil, my yellow highlighter and my computer and go to work.

I’m stubborn enough that I have to prove to myself that I’m capable of doing this and no one is going to stop me. In my family it’s called the Poole stubbornness and the Poole temper. Guess I can blame my dad for this trait. Or thank him ….

I’ll let you know which in a week or two … Now, to re-read that 12 page summary …

The wait is almost over. My editor emailed from D.C. two days ago that barring further delays, she would return my manuscript this evening. I wrote and said – really excited and anxious but mostly terrified! And it’s true. Nothing makes a writer shake in her boots more than an editor’s critiques.

Will she say, “Worthless, throw it in the garbage?” Or “Not bad, but you might want to rethink the entire plot line.” OR “I love it, but here’s about six months’ worth of changes you need to consider.”

The past few weeks I’ve busied myself with nonsensical things to keep from thinking: A jigsaw puzzle – a Chihuly reproduction I bought as a souvenir at the Oklahoma City Art Museum during a recent visit. A 4^th of July wood craft for my breakfast table. Hey, it’s something I’ll use, turned out pretty cute, kept me busy for a few hours. Add to that Netflix – entire seasons of Bosch and Grace & Frankie. This weekend – binge watching The Handmaiden’s Tale. I also took two classes on organizing and saving digital photos and drove to the Copper Art Museum in Clarkdale, AZ.  Excellent by the way.

So tonight. She’s on the east coast so perhaps by 3:00. I’ll read her first page of overall thoughts and perhaps put off the details until tomorrow. Or I may just dive right in and depress myself all at once. I know I sound negative. All authors do the same. We’re hypercritical. We know it isn’t the best it can be when we send it off for edits. We also hope and pray that it’s worth spending the next two-three months living again in a story that isn’t our own. Deleting sentences we love, finding better descriptors, changing dialogue that doesn’t “push the story forward.” I know all the lingo after spending the past seven years as a writer. My skin has thickened and critique arrows can’t pierce my flesh. There will even be a few suggested changes that I will kindly decline to make.

This is not my first rodeo – this is my fourth book. Hopefully this is the best book ever. Hopefully I captured my protagonist. Hopefully readers can’t put it down. Hopefully it will get rave reviews. In the meantime, I head into another revision. I’ll come up for air sometime around August. See you then.

Somehow – and it appears it was through my blog site – I got spammed. Anywhere from 400-600 emails per day for three days last week. Russian, German, Asian, etc. For now, it appears that changing my password each day has mostly solved the problem. Of course, I haven’t blogged this week, so I guess we’ll see.

It’s such an invasion of privacy and made me angry – furious actually – to be the victim and feel totally powerless. I’m a control freak anyway, so this did not help my mood. It makes me want to shut down my smart phone, my Alexa device, my computer, and my tablet and retreat into the old world with phones attached to the wall and pen and paper and stamps. I know that isn’t feasible. If I slow down, I’ll be lost within months. That’s how fast technology is changing. I remind my “older” friends about that weekly. You can’t just say no and not continue to learn – not if you want to live in this crazy world. I did, however, unplug Alexa as she was listening to every word I said. (and I also believe my PC is listening as well). That isn’t paranoia. That’s based on my saying something and having my google feature search for what I just mentioned. Scary!

Reunion — was really great. I worried I wouldn’t recognize people but when I walked to the registration table, two women who looked exactly as they did in high school (minus the big hair) stood there and greeted me immediately. I’d have known them anywhere and I swear there wasn’t a wrinkle on their faces. How can that be? We took photos with our elementary friends and another with junior high members. We shared a few stories but mostly talked about our current lives. I found a fellow author, the guy I first kissed while playing spin the bottle, and an old friend of 68 years. We may not stay in touch, though everyone says, “let’s…” But it was validating to see how well our generation has aged. Youthful – vibrant – intelligent – outgoing – kind people from a small town in Oklahoma. Maybe that was the key factor!

Seriously.?? I’m headed to Oklahoma tomorrow for my 55th class reunion. Last night as I thumbed through my year book, names popped into my mind. People I hadn’t thought of in years – at least since the 35th reunion – the last I attended.

I checked Face Book and found a few of us oldies on board with technology, but not many. A few I wouldn’t have recognized and others look just as they did in 1963. Amazing. I’m sort of hoping I’m in that last group… ha

As I checked out my pictures in the year book last evening, I was sort of surprised at my choice of clubs and activities. I love music, books and writing as well as helping others. I retired after years in education as a high school teacher, counselor and administrator. Then got a Creative Writing certificate and began writing short story and novels.

Sure enough…there I was in Future Teachers of America, Mixed and Girls Chorus, Bravettes Cheer squad, and Journalism Club as an elementary school reporter. Huh …

I tend to think that my life just sort of happened with little input on my part. It seemed pure coincidence and not based on “goals”, “plans” or “ambitions.” I don’t recall saying gee, I’d like to be a high school principal – never. I don’t recall setting a goal of singing in a church choir, or traveling abroad, or anything else that has occurred the past 30 years. And yet, looking back at my teen-age self, I see that there were unspoken, unacknowledged, subconscious goals all along. It may have just played out without much thought, but obviously my interests and life goals were set all those years ago.

Someone recently said – go back to your young self and you will find your most authentic self. You will find the “real” you. There is a lot of truth to that as I am discovering. So looking forward to reuniting with some great people this weekend!

Whew! After 9 days of struggles, my website is back up and running. For the 4th year in a row, Google let my domain name go inactive — this after checking 3 weeks before the renewal date to make certain it was on auto-renew. this after checking 3 weeks prior that all contact and credit card information were correct. this after being certain it had renewed only to find the site was shut down and the domain name inactive!

Try contacting anyone at Google and see if you get a response. Not happening! So I decided to switch my domain name to Go Daddy and am happy I did. You phone – someone answers – novel idea, right?

You phone needing help, they help you – right there, right then, on the phone – nicest and most patient young people I’ve ever dealt with.

So thanks, Go Daddy!  Loving you so far. It took awhile for my domain to be released but as of this afternoon, I am now officially online. Plus I paid for 3 years and don’t have to go through this stress every single May.

Today I finally sent off my newest manuscript to my editor in D.C. Evelyn will begin tearing it apart soon and I will cry when I first open her critique. ha  Then I will begin the process of a final (hopefully) edit which will be sent to her for even further changes. 303 pages. Feels good to put it aside for awhile and let my editor do her magic! Whew!

Are there any new songs about Easter? I should Google that. Maybe it’s because I’m old, but when I think of Easter songs, I begin singing, “In your Easter bonnet, with all the frills upon it …” of “Here comes Peter Cottontail, hopping down the bunny trail …” both written in the 40’s and in 1950. Most of our Christmas music comes from that era as well. And last week, at the March for our Lives march, the capitol grounds were grooving out to 1960’s and early 1970’s music. It was the same at the Women’s March last year. It just makes me curious if there any songs from the 80’s into 2018 that people will still be singing sixty years from now.

I’m sure there are many young people who would argue this point, and like I say, it may just be my age showing… But this morning, my head is full of Bing Crosby.

That being said, the religious songs of the season have evolved. Five piece bands, loud, rocking sounds, hand clapping songs of praise. But for me, the old hymns are still the best. “Up from the grave he arose… with a mighty triumph o’er his foes …” or “He lives, He lives … ” Whatever music you listen to. Whatever your personal beliefs about this holiday, I wish you a blessed Easter! And I pray for peace in this truly messed up world we live in today.

God Bless….

For those who wonder if I moved on, here’s an update.

I had to move my office into my craft room due to barking dogs on my block. Yes, even through closed doors and windows. I was going nuts and my neighbors didn’t seem to want to take care of the issue. Ah, life …

Photos of my walls covered in research and notes…

Getting ready for the March for Our Lives event this Saturday in downtown Phoenix. Being an educator and a mom, I want to support these young people. I admire them so much. My senior year we were protesting for black voter registration rights in the south. These young adults are our future. If you can join a march in your city, please do. It isn’t just about guns or gun control — it’s about creating a safe environment and a safe society for our children, especially at school.

Meanwhile, the book … Oh, my, writing is so hard! I’m trying to get a first draft to my editor by April 15. First draft definition for those of you who don’t know — actually 5th draft or 6th or 10th. It has to be the best I can make it because even then, she will literally tear this manuscript apart. Then I’ll cry for a week and then I”ll sit down and follow her instructions.

Right now, I have 78,000 words which means 312 pages. By the time Evelyn is finished, it may decrease by thousands. But she’s the best and maybe in another 6 months, we’ll be able to publish.

Have a great week!