I watched the sun rise this morning. The usual blue sky over Phoenix has a light cover of cloud creating a smoky magenta and peach canvas off to the east. For the past few weeks I’ve been dealing with what we humans call life – some good, some unfortunately sad or bittersweet.
And while it’s true that we can’t feel the joy without pain, can’t feel happy without sad, these are times when I wish that were different. I wanted to ask God, why? Why can’t we just feel joy and happiness and all the other wonderful positive feelings He has given us all the time? I suppose His answer would be that those times would then pale and dull into a flat, even sameness we wouldn’t recognize or appreciate.
I find myself on my knees a lot these days. Asking that these times be brief, asking that these times please end, asking God to carry me through to the other side. I don’t ask why because I don’t expect an answer. There may not be a why; this may not be part of a plan except that we recognize our physical limitations, our human foibles, our inability to make wise choices for ourselves.
So as I watch this rare spectacular sunrise I sit quietly and simply let it envelope me. I feel some small sense of peace, and hope that these few moments carry me through the rest of the day. And I allow the tears we’ve been given to fall silently releasing my anger and sadness to give room for the happy miracles ahead.